Red vs. Blue: Roaming Charges

SYNOPSIS

In the past, Church (as a Marathon character) finds a computer terminal, which answers some questions for him. Church is in the housing facility for The Great Weapon, which The Great Destroyer will use to bring Great Doom to the galaxy in 1,856 years. When computer describes The Great Destroyer as a "blue being" who "will be known as the stupidest life form in the universe", Church assumes that it must be referring to Caboose. 1,856 years in the future, Caboose asks Sarge to look at the computer terminal, which is playing a message from Church. The message tells Caboose not to touch anything, lest he bring about Great Doom. Specifically, Caboose should avoid bringing the "glowing sword weapon thingy" into the base, as the place will lock its doors. Tucker and Donut stroll in with the sword, and the base locks down, with Caboose's bomb already counting down inside it. In the past, Church finishes recording his message, but, deciding that it will not suffice, asks the terminal to transport him to Blood Gulch so that he can prevent the whole fiasco. While telling jokes to pass the time, the terminal begins the millennium-long process of researching and building a teleporter.