Dog Days Review

PG: Rude and suggestive content, and for languageLD Entertainment1 Hr and 53 MinutesDir: Ken Marino | Writer: Elissa Matsueda, Erica OyamaCast: Nina Dobrev, Vanessa Hudgens, Adam Pally, Eva Longoria, Rob Corddry, Tone Bell, Jon Bass, Michael Cassidy, Thomas Lennon, Tig Notaro, Finn Wolfhard, Ron Cephas JonesWhy must movies with the words “Dog Days” in the title be dropped in the literal dog days of summer? How dare you release “Dog Days” during the literal time of summer that is in your title? I only respect one movie that has the term “Dog Days” in the title and that is “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days.”You thought I was going to say “Dog Day Afternoon”? You would’ve thought! Plus, it has “Dog Day” in the title not “Dog Days”:
"Dog Days" follows a group of interconnected people in Los Angeles who are brought together by their lovable canine counterparts.THE GOOD“Dog Days” falls into all of the same tropes as every romantic comedy, but damn aren’t those tropes charming at times? The cast is incredibly charismatic and cute. Despite how piss poor the script is, they all have an equally appealing presence.I’ll tell you firsthand that this was a sequential shift of my reaction while watching “Dog Days”:UGHEhhAwwwAWWWW
When it comes to the sentimentality, “Dog Days” is the equivalent of an episode of “This Is Us” where it hits you deep in the feels. It starts off really shallow and obnoxious, but an hour in it gets more heartfelt and you fall prey to its cheesy sentimentality. It is literally like adopting a dog. They’re annoying and hard to adjust to at first, but some time later they ease their way into your heart, and that is exactly what “Dog Days” does.THE BADWhy in the hell is this in a theater? Why is this movie not on Hallmark or Lifetime? This is a just another two-hour romantic comedy.
If I were to give this movie an award, it would be for Best “Why In The Hell Are You In A Theater?” award. Screw the new popular Oscar category; this is the new category that needs to be made. I’m not trying to be cynical but there is no need for this telegraphed family sitcom to be on a big screen. It bears the same cinematic value as an episode of “Modern Family”. There can only be two believable reasons why this was sent to theaters: some of the cast members have their own individual fan bases (such as Finn Wolfhard and Nina Dobrev), and the sweet, sweet tears it can jerk out of you because of the cute ass dogs.The movie features FIVE different plot threads taken from the treasure trove of dated 80s/90s storylines:
Vanessa Hudgens & Jon Bass - The typical love story where sweet girl meets nerdy socially awkward guy but is crushing on a hot guy who is also a vet. When she volunteers at nerdy guy’s animal shelter as a way to get hot vet’s attention, she develops feelings for nerdy socially awkward guy.Eva Longoria & Rob Corddry - A married couple who are starting their own family with their new adopted daughter, but she’s quiet. The only way she opens up is when she meets a runaway dog on the street.Adam Pally - The Man-Child Best Friend storyline where his character’s sister is preggo with twins and must take care of her dog as he learns how to grow up.
Nina Dobrev & Tone Bell - LIVE With Kelly and Michael fanfiction where this morning host is paired with this hotshot former NFL player and they go from hating each other to loving each other.Finn Wolfhard & Ron Cephas Jones - A live action version of “Up” where this kid befriends an old guy who is unwilling to let go of his deceased wife and move on and they try to find his dog together.This is30% Nina Dobrev/Tone Bell20% Adam Pally20% Vanessa Hudgens/Jon Bass17% Eva Longoria/Rob Corddry13% Finn Wolfhard/Ron Cephas JonesThe only storylines that work are the latter. The only place that I teared up was near the end when the Eva Longoria/Rob Corddry storyline crossed paths with the Finn Wolfhard/Ron Cephas Jones story.
This movie gives you a nice ensemble who are all playing their typecast character types. Jon Bass: you’re going to be the same guy you were in “Baywatch” aka the sweet guy who says the most bizarre things as he tries to get with the hot girl? Vanessa Hudgens: you’re going to be like Gabriella aka the floaty dreamer? Adam Pally: you’re a man-child again. IT’S ALL STUFF WE’VE SEEN BEFORE WITH THIS CAST! You know where all of these storylines will end up and when all the silly stock music will cue into the background when comical antics ensue.If you’re going to make a movie of this sort with so many characters and storylines that are mostly unrelated to each other, except that it takes place in the same setting, do it in the same manner (I can’t believe I’m mentioning this movie, but it is the only thing that comes to mind) that “Shorts” (2009) did. Divide each storyline into their own individual chapters where they play all the way through, then have them all tied together in one big finale. It’s much more organized for the audience instead of jumping from plot thread to plot thread.
Garry Marshall has already passed away. We don’t need a Garry Marshall-esque studio romantic comedy where you have this star-studded cast in their own telegraphic storylines revolving around a familiar theme. The last time a non-Garry Marshall ensemble romantic comedy was released was 2012’s “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and it was terrible. Marshall had “Valentine’s Day”, “New Year’s Eve”, and “Mother’s Day” and you know what? They were terrible. So, believe me when I say that “Dog Days” IS THE BEST OF THE BUNCH! Unlike all of those mentioned films, “Dog Days” has enough charm and genuine emotional moments to get you teary eyed, but as I said, this does not need to be in a theater AT ALL.LAST STATEMENTDespite a charming, star-studded cast and heartfelt moments, “Dog Days” barks up the wrong tree by being in a theater for its infinite amount of cliched romance tropes. It is a solid recommendation to rent at home for a date night.Rating: 2.5/5 | 54%Super Scene: Walter’s finale.