Anđeli i djevice

With the Black Death rampaging across Italy, young Lorenzo (Hayden Christensen) is trying to stay one step ahead of the plague and away from the villainous Gerbino (Tim Roth). Failing to secure his love Pampinea (Mischa Barton), Lorenzo instead seeks shelter at a convent of lusty nuns, playing mute to keep his job as a gardener. With Lorenzo away, Gerbino claims Pampinea as his own, which sends the bride-to-be off to find her missing lover, encountering further complication when her arranged marriage to a Russian count (Matthew Rhys) comes to fruition, kicking off a chase across the countryside.

Adapted from Giovanni Boccaccio’s elaborate “Decameron,” “Virgin” is a wildly miscalculated offering of bawdy behaviours and attractive medieval locations. It’s a dour renaissance festival brought to life by a terrible director and a cast of dreary actors, who prance boldly around the frame as though they have this amazing grasp on comedic delivery. Instead they bungle the entire enterprise, giving motivated Skinemax-like perversions a bad name with this laughably incompetent motion picture.

There’s no “Masterpiece Theatre” pretence here, only a declaration of lewd entertainment. It’s a promise that’s kept by director David Leland (“Wish You Were Here”), who labours to maintain a tone of brazen sexuality throughout the picture, slashing through numerous opportunities for nudity and assorted heated responses that would typically appease the average hot-blooded viewer.
Parading around the supporting cast (sorry Christensen and Barton fans) in various stages of undress, the feature actually achieves a certain appeal of the unexpected when it comes to copious displays of flesh.

However, a smorgasbord of bare breasts cannot conceal the film’s tonal mismanagement. Aiming for a blinding amorous feel, “Virgin” is rather embarrassing to watch. Perhaps the source material deftly wove together the absurd and the enticing, but Leland is not that sharp of a craftsman. Instead he botches the warm sensuality that he’s aiming for, or overcooks the silly stuff.